Deliberate, as an adjective, is defined in the Oxford Languages as: done consciously and intentionally.
I am no rookie when it comes to not living deliberately.
For most of my life that I can remember, I have struggled in heated situations with friends, lovers, and even strangers… to act with intention rather than impulse.
This has been a huge part of my unlearning and relearning.
And the coolest part is that anyone can hack their own mind.
The first step is acknowledging the reaction and its problematic ways. Next, deliberately changing the script allows you to access a different way of reacting, quite possibly a whole new perspective of heated situations… or whatever it is that gets you hot. And last, you practice. Practice makes better practice, and habits are formed with repetition.
As kids we learn most of what we know from repetition.
And what no one ever starts a conversation about is the reality that sometimes we practiced what we learned poorly.
But regardless of the problematic areas that can use some elbow grease, we all have the ability to adapt and overcome.
We all have the ability to change even the smallest behaviors, into what we want or feel is what we need.
Question #1: How do you break your fast?
I’ve recently had two or three women pop up on social media proposing this question.
It’s a ~ good ~ one.
Since the birthing of social media, and all its many facets and functions, society has handed over an abundance of energy to the internet. Energy in the form of attention as we scroll and absorb the good, bad, and ugly of whatever we are individually or collectively plugged into.
When you think about social media as an energy exchange, shit gets real.
And because many people are going to sleep just after this absorption, a large number of people are jumping right back in…
… first thing in the morning.
I am no doctor or licensed therapist, but I can tell you scientific research backs that screens before bed and first thing in the morning is not a healthy habit.
Breaking your six to eight hour fast with Instagram just sounds silly to me.
I’ve never personally been big on routines, or restrictions…
but how you break your fast, matters.
Each night when we rest our eyes and travel through the subconscious realms of existence, we are also fasting.
It’s a short fast in comparison to fasting for days or a week, but it is indeed a boundary between the body and its regular consumption of food, water, and energy in all forms.
As we sleep we deplete ourselves of these additives while we embark on journeys that are aiding in healing the mind, body, soul. Rest is necessity as a human being.
And, what we do first thing in the rising from our rest impacts the rest of our day.
In staying with my authenticity moral, I will openly admit I have been disappointed with my choices in breaking fast as of late.
But without being hard on myself, I am excited to step into the space of changing this. Maybe you will too, alongside me.
If we wake up to nourish and stretch our minds and bodies, we are off to a deliberate good start.
It is crucial for a house to have a solid foundation to last a long time.
The same is true for humans and daily life. If we wake up and deliberately choose the first actions of the day, we are more likely to continue choosing throughout the day with intention and in a positive direction.
Here’s a look at the do’s and don’ts of breaking fast that can help access the optimal state of being- and living deliberately.
|Breaking Fast Do’s||Breaking Fast Don’ts|
|– wake up naturally or to a soft alarm |
– drink water
– sit and breathe or meditate
– prepare a healthy, fresh breakfast (fruit, veggies, juice)
– eat before caffeine
– gratitude journal
|– wake up to trap/loud music|
– make pressing snooze a habit
– jump straight to scrolling or any social media
– smoke/drink/do drugs
– eat processed foods
– drink coffee FIRST
– gossip or negative self talk
Question #2: What do you have to do, to love, and to look forward to?
The “Three Grand Essentials” of happiness have been coined to different people… Alex Chalmers, Immanuel Kant, and George Washington Burnap.
Whoever it truly was that birthed this word spell, hit the nail right on the head.
The psychology behind this concept is not something I feel the need to break down, but rather bring attention to the simplicity of thinking about this question daily, and the impact it can have our on intentional living.
I highlighted in “Living in Gratitude & 10-10-10” that living in a state of gratitude has research backing it’s benefits which include living happier and longer.
Even better… when we live in a state of gratitude, we are more likely living deliberately because we are grateful for what we have and therefore more willing to make the steps needed to achieve what we are working towards.
A lack of motivation could stem from a feeling of hopelessness which does not breed intention.
But, what does breed and cultivate intention is gratitude.
We should be grateful for what we have to do, to love, and to look forward to.
And if we are missing one of the three, we should create it ourselves.
Because we can.
For instance, if you are currently a single human, that definitely does not disqualify you from the someone or something to love.
You could love yourself, your friends, family, dog… or a job, place, activity.
Or maybe you feel there is a missing piece in what you are looking forward to. Then find the answer to this question by taking some time to set a long-term goal, vacation, concert plans, or hanging out with a friend… and look forward to it!
Taking inventory of what we already have can help us be more intentional in what we are currently doing.
Checking in on these three grand essentials daily can help set you up for the success you are seeking, whether that be monetary, personal, or both.
This practice helps to lay the foundation of intention in day-to-day movements.
Here’s an example:
At first it may seem silly to consciously think about these three things so often, but I assure you this is no mistake and can help propel you towards the optimal state of intentional living.
This practice directs our energy to receptors that utilize it as fuel and prepare for deliberate action with divine guidance, as we are tapping into the higher-self timeline by raising our frequency.
Remember, we are divinely here with purpose. Aligning yourself to that vibration is a great way to receive downloads that can assist in expanding and learning karmic lessons the first time around along the way.
Question #3: How are you talking to yourself?
The biggest way to hack your life is directly through the mind.
But it gets tricky, and is a lot to explain… and since I’m no neurologists, I’ll leave it to you to check out some books and YouTube videos linked below.
To simplify it: there is a firing of neurons that occurs when we do anything, and this pattern can be learned easily. This is where things like addiction are formed.
What’s superb is that we can form healthy habits and patterns too!
Most humans experience a little voice in their heads…
and if you’re denying this reality, don’t. You’re not crazy… it’s actually normal!
Our subconscious mind is constantly working, even when we don’t consistently hear this little voice.
It often times reminds me of Plankton in SpongeBob when he gets in the brain and is controlling things.
Negative self talk is often un-intentional and habitually done. 70% of it is self-critical and negative. It comes in all shapes and sizes. Such as reacting to doing something incorrectly or possibly half-assed by calling yourself stupid or a stupid idiot.
Other times, it’s the voice of I’m not pretty, I’m fat, I need a boob job, I can’t because I’m different.
The negative spiral is never a happy space to find yourself in, and all too often we do. Sometimes randomly, sometimes monthly with a moon cycle, or weekly because hormones are wild, y’all.
& changing this voice takes effort.
Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it does make better practice. With consistency and effort it turns into the normal way of being.
Research shows that affirmations tap directly into the neuroplasticity (a fancy word for the brains ability to rewire itself) of the brain and can be beneficial in rewriting the subconscious self-talk when repeated daily.
Repetition… aka practice.
Just like my theory of learning poor habits and practicing them, here is the flip side of that reality: we can do the same with positive, holistic, wellness boosting habits.
Daily affirmations is a great starting place to rewire the brains day-to-day subconscious conversations.
It is actually true that when we think we can, even if we truly can’t, our effort to do so is larger.
Speaking to yourself find a kind, loving place builds onto the foundation for the day a positive mindset that is more willing to intentionally choose and take action. We are once again, directing our energy to the spaces it is needed most to benefit ourselves and others by tapping into the higher-self frequencies and aligning to our highest timeline.
~ Click below to check out a list of awesome affirmations!
Positive Affirmations to Rewire the Subconscious Conversation
Make a plan to try these for a week. I encourage journaling before and after. If you skip a day, by choice or accident, I suggest restarting.
Below is a Spotify Playlist with affirmation songs created with love to share <3
The inspiration for this post came from an original audio on a reel on instagram…
“How long do you want to live… and what do you want to be doing in that last decade of your life? These are important questions that we need to be asking ourselves in our 20s, 30s, 40s so that we may live in a way and train in a way that supports that long term version. What specific physical abilities will you need to maintain so that you’ll be able to pick up your great grandchildren? What cognitive state will you need to be in so that you may still enjoy your favorite hobbies? The choices we make today have an impact on tomorrow. No doubt the habits we build this year create the life we will have in a decade. Look, life moves along quickly while we’re busy working and worrying about the mundane. But you can slow it down by becoming purposeful with your time, with your money, and with your choices. Live deliberately.“deliberateliving.alewis audio on instagram
We should be considering, daily, what deliberate actions and behaviors we are participating in as they directly effect the outcome of reaching our version of success.
What long-term goals do you have set that a little more intention in your daily living would benefit from?
Here’s to rewiring our minds and taking the power back into our hands, deliberately. Now is the time!
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